I have a problem with Mother’s Day. I’ll admit it, it’s only my first one as the “Mother” in this whole scenario, so maybe it takes a little getting used to. I’ll also admit, that while I like to think of myself as a confident person, I do tend to read a few to many mom related blogs and follow quite a few mom related Facebook pages. There is nothing wrong with this…Except for on the rare occasion when I question myself based on what I see other moms doing. Herein lies the danger of the collective mom voice. In my mom confident moments, I use these platforms to bond and share my experience with others. To learn from like-minded moms. I use it in a healthy way, However in my less than confident moments I find myself using it to lay down some pretty harsh self judgement.

Case in point: Mother’s Day. I did not make fancy hand print crafts for my mother and mother in law from the baby. I did not make a home-made brunch for them, nor did I send cute crafty things to my sister-in-law. I did not sleep in and spend the day at the spa courtesy of my husband. We didn’t get all dressed up and take beautiful family pictures. Was I supposed to? Oh crap!! No one told me? I thought this day was for me?!?!?!

We took my mom out for margaritas and then hit the beer garden. I have her a card and a small gift from me. I didn’t even think to call my mother in law (She was out-of-town this weekend, we’re seeing her next weekend) and I sure as heck didn’t even cross my mind to call my sister-in-law on her first mother’s day (She of course sent me a beautiful card from my niece).

I did have a great day. I did spend the day feeling thankful for my mother and my mother in law and for now being a mom. I did make some memories with my husband and my daughter. I did snap a couple of pictures.

And while in the moment, I felt a little bit like I missed a memo on the whole Mother’s Day rigmarole, now that I’ve let it sink in, I’m not sure I’ll do it any differently next year. Well, perhaps I won’t spend part of the day feeling like I’m doing it wrong. Hell, I am a mom.  I get to do what I want on Mother’s Day, right?